Monday, February 22, 2010

Bombs Away With Catriona LeMay

Catriona LeMay Doan is lovely. She is talented. Here in Canada, she is a national hero, a splendid speedskater, the greatest sprinter this country has ever produced.

She may also be the worst Olympic commentator in the history of sport.

Paired with Rod Smith on the CTV and TSN telecasts, LeMay Doan and Smith are breaking new ground in bad. They belabor the obvious, repeat themselves ad nauseam and, just to rub it in, have a bad habit of repeating one another, so that you get Smith giving us his regurgitated version of a banal LeMay Doan observation that she has already offered a dozen times, in that annoying sing-song voice that veers off to a screech when things threaten to get exciting.

LeMay Doan gives us an awful glimpse of the old saw, be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. When she was skating her way into our hearts, at least 10 million Canadian men saw themselves cuddled up with her in a nice little love-nest in the Rockies. Trouble is, if you lived with her, you would have to listen to her – and listening to LeMay Doan is worse than water-boarding. She's so bad, she almost makes the wretched Rod Smith look good.

As part of the CTV/TSN package which is so much worse than what the CBC delivered (and what NBC delivers now) LeMay Doan needs to find another career before the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. Mercifully, there are plenty of options, beginning with LeMay Doan's former rival Susan Auch, who is now doing commentary for the silly sport of short-track skating.

If not Auch, Clara Hughes should be available four years from now. If neither of them wants the most, a macaw would be better than LeMay Doan.

1 comment:

  1. Although my writing is American and wide-open-spaces, I've just discovered Canada, I'm embarrassed to say: through literature like yours, and through a series called Slings and Arrows!

    It's a wonderful world up there, it seems.